Sunday, 24 February 2013

An Aspergirl in lessons

I am back to my Aspergirl series. Good news on this front. I have had accepted my idea for articles about how I found out and was diagnosed with Asperger's by an Australian magazine that writes about autism and Asperger's. Just my thing. They want it in two parts, so have been working on that.

Back to my blog series. So I am at secondary school still. I was very quiet but hardworking in lessons. I never volunteered to answer questions, always the person to keep their hand down, and didn't want to read out loud any work from books we had to work on. That was until near the end of the 5th year when I decided to be brave and do that. The feeling I had then when I was chosen to read out loud was how I feel now when I have to introduce myself or read out my work in writing talks. I go through what I want to say in my head, and when my time comes, I get it jumbled. Or when it comes my time to read the work, I can feel my hands going sweaty, my heart beating loudly that I wonder if anyone else can hear it.

A couple of years ago I wrote a poem for a competition about this feeling. I didn't get anywhere though. Here it is now.


Feeling Brave

 
I put my hand up to speak

and see the teacher smile

only to find I can only squeak

and want to run a mile

 

But I open my mouth and am heard

and I’m the one that’s smiling

as I say more than a word

and have not gone into hiding

 

That’s the day I stopped my nerve

from taking over me

It was a true learning curve

which I conquered finally
 
 
I hope you like it.

4 comments:

kathryn evans said...

I love your posts about being a girl with Aspergers - I love how you show the world what it feels like. Well done for speaking up and being brave Julie.

Heather Kilgour said...

I still feel like panicking when speaking in public, so good on you!

Candy Gourlay said...

I love this series! I can't imagine what it's like to walk in your shoes, but this brings me close.

Julie Day said...

Thanks,everyone. I still get nervous too when it comes to speaking in public, even if they are people I know eg fellow authors.