Back to my blog series. So I am at secondary school still. I was very quiet but hardworking in lessons. I never volunteered to answer questions, always the person to keep their hand down, and didn't want to read out loud any work from books we had to work on. That was until near the end of the 5th year when I decided to be brave and do that. The feeling I had then when I was chosen to read out loud was how I feel now when I have to introduce myself or read out my work in writing talks. I go through what I want to say in my head, and when my time comes, I get it jumbled. Or when it comes my time to read the work, I can feel my hands going sweaty, my heart beating loudly that I wonder if anyone else can hear it.
A couple of years ago I wrote a poem for a competition about this feeling. I didn't get anywhere though. Here it is now.
Feeling Brave
I
put my hand up to speak
and
see the teacher smile
only
to find I can only squeak
and
want to run a mile
But
I open my mouth and am heard
and
I’m the one that’s smiling
as
I say more than a word
and
have not gone into hiding
That’s
the day I stopped my nerve
from
taking over me
It
was a true learning curve
which
I conquered finally
I hope you like it.
4 comments:
I love your posts about being a girl with Aspergers - I love how you show the world what it feels like. Well done for speaking up and being brave Julie.
I still feel like panicking when speaking in public, so good on you!
I love this series! I can't imagine what it's like to walk in your shoes, but this brings me close.
Thanks,everyone. I still get nervous too when it comes to speaking in public, even if they are people I know eg fellow authors.
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