Friday, 8 February 2013

An Aspergirl at secondary school - bullied

As promised I am back with my Aspergirl series and talking about being bullied. I have previously mentioned a girl called S. Well, she was one person who bullied me. She bullied me into taking half of my lunch most of the time, she bullied  me in English, as it was called then, by nicking my pens and pencils, hiding them and pretending she didn't know where they were. I knew that she had taken them. I remember one time that I retaliated and pretended to bite her as she took my stationery. Unfortunately the teacher saw me do it and told me off. The bullying got so bad that I told my mum and she told S's mum and both mums went to the school to discuss it. I think after that, the bullying stopped.

S wasn't the only person to bully me. The first couple of years at school there was a small group of coloured girls who where two years older than me who picked on me. It was verbal bullying this time, not like what I got from S. They used to tell me to lick their shoes or wipe their shoes and laugh. They also jeered at me. I can't remember what I did to make them stop, it was either me ignoring them or said something to them which took them by surprise as I was usually quiet, but they stopped. Thankfully, shortly after that they left the school as they were older than me and had graduated.

So, my one main thoughts now that I know I have Asperger's is that bullies are cowards because they see someone different, with me I was quiet due to my AS, and picked on me. They don't pick on others who are like them, but people who they think are more vulnerable than them. What do you think?


Debs Carr said...

I think it's horrendous when people think they have the right to bully someone. I'm glad your bullying stopped. Good for your mum for going and talking to S's mum about it.

It's difficult to know what to do for the best sometimes. I think a lot of children don't like to tell their parents, which must make them feel even more alone.

Julie Day said...

I know that bullying these days has got a hella lot worse than when I was bullied.

kathryn evans said...

I think you're right JUlie - sometimes it's learnt behaviour. They get bullied at home, or bossed around, and want to regain control by picking on someone else. Sometimes it's fear that they are different and they want to divert attention onto someone else. Sometimes people are just mean, or ignorant. Whatever the reasons I think you're school and the two mum's handled it well by talking it through - this way understanding grows. You writing about it will help people as well - it's not always obvious to people why someone might be different and when they understand, the difference always seems a little bit less. Well done for speaking out x

Julie Day said...

Thanks so much, Kathryn. I am planning to hopefully expand these blogs into articles and get them published in a disablity magazine.

Helen Bonney said...

Bullying is just the worst thing Julie. Well done for talking about it and also for talking about your Asperger's Syndrome. I agree with Kathy. Bully's are mostly cowards who are often taken out their own problems on others. Unfortunately, the whole world is full of them, often in the form of world leaders.
I love the way you always speak out about things that matter Julie. Keep up the good work! X

Candy Gourlay said...

I'm sorry to hear about these nasty experiences - there is no excuse for that kind of behavior, no matter how different a person is. Even if you don't have a diagnosis for Asperger's, it is still inexcusable. I admire you for your quiet determination and your joy in what you do. Go, Julie!