Sunday 24 September 2017

An Aspie and her anxiety

My anxiety about going out has come back. I believe it is because after I had the kidney infection, I stayed indoors for over a week, with the only outside space I went to being the garden. I can go over the road to get the paper OK. But when I go shopping locally, I've felt my stomach flip with anxiety either before I go or within half an hour of being out. This causes an IBS flare up.

On Friday, I went shopping with my mum. I was fine before we went, so I thought that I would be OK. But, no, just as the bus got to the centre, I felt my stomach flip. I tried to put my anxiety into words; why did I feel anxious? I've been here before and I was OK. (Something I read to do in the current issue of Top Sante). It worked for a while but after walking round shops for half an hour, I had to stop. Luckily the centre has public toilets where I went. I was fine after that. It is so frustrating to me me and my mum as I feel that it spoils the shopping trip for us. I might have to sit for longer before I go out, or try the talking out my anxiety more. I hope to get back to normality soon.

Tuesday 12 September 2017

An Aspie in hospital

Two weeks ago it was my turn to be admitted to A&E. I suddenly got terrific pain in my left side, with a fever, feeling faint and being sick. It was a kidney stone passing down my kidney to my bladder that caused the pain (found that out last Friday) and a kidney infection. It was my first time in hospital knowing I have Asperger's. Here is how I coped or not.

In A&E I didn't think it was as noisy as I expected it to be. There was lots of people and light. From there I was taken to Urgent Care. I was in pain still and hot. There was a lot of people waiting. A couple of times I came over faint. When I was finally seen in triage, I was taken to Majors in A&E. And put into a cubicle. Comfort at last. And privacy as the staff closed the curtain. This helped shut out noise and lights. I saw staff go to and fro outside. I was mainly focussing on myself. Trying to feel comfortable with a dull pain, trying not to be sick and having to cope with nurses trying to get blood out of my right arm. Having been sick a lot, my blood had dried up and was too thick. I had to be put on a drip to get more fluids in. That was my left arm.

Then in the early hours of the next morning (just after 1.30am) I was wheeled into Clinical Decision Unit. What a difference! Even though it was early morning, it was darker and quieter, and I could only see one other patient there. I liked this, even though I was still not right and had a drip connected to me. The quiet calmed me down.

A couple of hours later I went for a CT scan to find out what was happening. I hated this as the corridors were dark then bright. Had to shut my eyes most of the time. The scan wasn't too bad.

My mum finally left about 6am as there wasn't any transport before that to get home.  A few hours later I went home in a hospital cab in one of their nighties and a blanket over me. Not very warm but was so pleased to get home.

Thankfully I am slowly on the mend now, and am back on my feet. I am taking painkillers to keep pain under control. I finished the course of antibiotics last week and was told that I don't need any more. I am limiting any foods with calcium and oxalates in as they are the two things that mostly form kidney stones. So nut products are limited as well as celery and berries.