Menopause, anxiety, stairs = progress

There has been progress with me coming downstairs during the day at home. This morning I went up and down twice - when I came down first thing and without doing any mindfulness exercise, then later on to need the toilet as my mum was washing the floor of the utility room. I have been doing this in stages this year and hope to progress more soon. Here are the stages:

Stage 1: Get used to being upstairs in my bedroom. Do things with my back to the door. Do mindfulness exercise before coming downstairs, telling myself to go slow.

Stage 2: While upstairs, get used to going from one room to another one. Do mindfulness exercise and go downstairs, telling myself to go slow.

Stage 3: Go upstairs to do something extra in the morning one day more, such as making the bed, no mindfulness exercise but still tell myself to go slow. This is where I am at now.

I am slowly building up to more. I am determined to get there. On Thursday I had to go up and down twice. First to make my bed. But then later on that morning I fell ill with a UTI and had to go to bed. If my brain knows I have to do it, then I will.

Me, anxiety and...

the peri-menopause. Yes, I have reached that stage in my life. I have recently worked out that my anxiety is probably down to the perimenopause. I have been having hot flushes and put on weight, too, both symptoms of the menopause. I am now on HRT and am waiting for it to take effect. I am still anxious about crossing roads on my own, and going down stairs/steps. On Monday I went to the dentist at Guy's. To get home, we (my mum came with me for the first time), had to go down steps to get out the station. Sorry, no I couldn't do that. It was dark and wet, the rails were wet and slippery. We ended up getting the lift up to the footbridge, walking across that then getting the lift down to the other side. Then we crossed the road to get a bus. We finally made it home. Before we had to go out to the chemist over the road to get my blood pressure tablets I had been waiting for.

I had been coping OK with our stairs at home in the morning, coming down them first time each day, until this morning. I had a bad hot flush, which made me feel dizzy, so got anxious about going downstairs. It took me half an hour to finally make it down, following my mum downstairs, slowly.  I now have to work out how to keep my face cool before I go downstairs so I don't get overheated again. Grrr....

I would like to know if you have had anxiety during the menopause, and how that affected you. Please let me know in the comments.

Me, Anxiety and Heights

Following my last post, things have been happening; good and bad. The good is that I am now on another tablet for my blood pressure which has calmed me down a bit when I'm indoors. The bad is that my anxiety turned into both anxiety and panic attacks, which were the heart palpitations, shaking, dizziness. I still get anxious about coming downstairs, but have now found a way to cope with it in the morning. I breathe deeply, do a mindful exercise (tense and relax arms, hands, shoulders and head), tell myself to look to the floor, go slow and go. That way does work. I have managed to come downstairs at the first attempt using that method, inc this morning. But the anxiety raises my blood pressure. I haven't gone up and downstairs during the day or evening yet, although I do go and have a nap in the afternoon, when I am all right. I think it is because I am in my bedroom for all that time and not going back and forwards across the upstairs landing which looks down onto the stairs, which I do in the morning. I get changed for bed etc down in our utility room, which does have heating in. It's smaller than the bathroom but will do for now. I thought that it was just the stairs at home that affected me, but when I went into a Boots yesterday and they had a few stairs going down, I froze then, too.

I am going to take it a step at a time, knowing it will be a long term thing until I am better. I am going to my GP on Thursday to ask to get counselling about this, esp now that my anxiety has affected another part of my life - going out on my own, esp crossing the road. We shall see what happens. My next post will be about anxiety going out and what I plan to do about that.

Me and my anxiety

Do you remember last year, shortly after my mum fell downstairs, that I mentioned I got anxious about going downstairs? Well, it's come back again, and a bit worse. I think it started on a Sunday when I had already been upstairs cleaning, gone downstairs for a while then went upstairs to help my mum with something. I got my bag with me and put some things in to take down but it was too bulky and as I went downstairs, it banged against the wall and made me nervous about falling. That was it. I went upstairs again and took a few goes to come down again.

On a couple of times it has taken me half an hour to get the courage to come down, after a lot of tears. It took me two goes this morning. There are other things going on that could be contributing to his anxiety of mine. I am on additional tablets for my blood pressure that has an 'uncommon' side effect of anxiety and nervousness, and I am very nervous about watching my mum in the garden as she has lost her balance a few times this year. Thankfully, no injuries, just scratches. She now uses the big fork to walk with as a stick and something to balance with as she digs and hoes the weeds.

I also hate escalators and steep slopes. I avoid the former if I can find another way to where I have to go. I encountered a steep climb this morning and my mum had to force me to walk up a bit to get across the road to where we wanted to go, which happened to be closed.

I have found that I'm not the only one who hates stairs and these high things. I posted about this on a FB group and got a lot of comments.

I hope that it doesn't last too long. I am currently having to get changed for bed and brush my teeth downstairs in the utility room, with the heating on.