Monday, 5 September 2016

Me and Asperger's - Tone of voice

One of the challenges that people with Asperger's have is social communication, and that can mean their voice can sound rude or abrupt without intention. This happened to me last week at the local newsagent when I got the paper. I went in there, picked up the paper and went to pay for it behind another woman. I saw another older woman there who was choosing crisps. I also saw food on the counter which I thought belonged to the other woman in front of me. The older woman went to move in front of me and I said to her, I'm in the queue. I have just the paper and the exact money. The other woman turned round and accused me of being rude. She paid for her goods and left. I tried to explain by saying I have Asperger's but it was too late. The other woman let me pay for the paper. I apologised to her and she said I didn't need to. I left and went home. It upset me so much that it went round and round my head to the point I was in tears. When my mum came home, I asked her what she would have done, but she realised about the food on the counter and said that people do that there, buy some things, go and find more then pay later. Later on she said that if she had been with me she would have said a few choice words to that woman. Wanting to get it off my chest, I also mentioned it to a Facebook group of women with Asperger's to see what their reactions were. They all agreed that the first woman was rude not me. One comment I got, from the founder of the group, was that at times like that, she felt she needed to wear a T-shirt that said, 'I have Asperger's what is your reason for poor social skills.'. LOL. This gave me an idea. This all gave me peace of mind about the situation. It still upsets me to think about it, but I have decided a couple of things:

1. Not to try to get in that situation again.
2. Made me determined to raise awareness of Asperger's even more, esp about me.
3. I might buy a card that tells others that I am on the autism spectrum and what it means.

So I will be blogging more about Asperger's, writing more about it inc in short stories, and mention it a lot at my new book's launch in a few week's time along with hand-made cards and leaflets about ASD, and I will be posting on FB and Twitter about it too, sharing posts. I also am thinking of other merchandise to sell to raise awareness.


Rebecca said...

Great ideas, angel. I'm reminded of Napoleon Hill's line: How is this an asset for my benefit? When things go wrong, there's always an 'up' side. It sounds as if you've found it. I think that making things like this for other Aspies would be a great idea. Let me know if I can help.

Rebecca Bardess

Deborah Carr said...
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Deborah Carr said...

That woman sounds very rude. I'm glad you've turned this negative into a positive and wish you lots of luck with your excellent ideas.

Julie Day said...

Thank you, both of you. Rebecca, one thing you can help with is to spread the word about my children's book to anyone you know that either is connected to Asperger's and autism, or has children with either of them. Thanks for asking.