Anxiety in adults - Tips

I have had anxiety with meltdowns, mainly as an adult. I don't know about other Aspie adults, but I have found that my anxiety has got worse as I get older. But I have found ways to cope with the anxiety. Here are the situations I have been in and my tips to cope with them.

1. Shopping – Always take more money than is needed. This was the situation I was in when I had my first meltdown and had gone shopping on my own for the first time. I didn't have enough money to buy the tapestry threads I wanted, which upset me greatly.

2. Shopping with someone else – Arrange to meet at a certain point in the shop or outside if you get separated.

3. Going to a new place - Work out times and transport to get there. Leave with plenty of time, especially if it's for an appointment. When there, take a map. Make a note of any landmarks eg a shop or statue, so you know where you are going.

4. Job interview application – If you feel it will help you, then do put down on the form that you have Asperger's/autism, and explain how it affects you, what they can do to help you in the interview. Eg eyes, questions etc. Familiarise yourself with the place and job. If you don't understand a question, ask them to repeat it but in simple language. I recall the last interview I had when I only suspected I had Asperger's. A couple of the questions I took too long to answer and replied wrongly. If I had asked for it to be repeated simply, I might have got a different outcome – fail. As it was, I didn't get the job. It turned out to be the right thing in the end, as I got the time to find out about myself more and get diagnosed.

5. Appointments running late – This one really makes me anxious and worked up. If your appointment is running v late, do tell the consultant when you see them. They will understand, and hopefully will arrange your next appointment to be at an earlier time in the day.

Do you find anxiety is worse as an adult? How do you cope?

ASD and common co-morbidity

I was born with a ventricular septal defect (hole in the heart or congenital heart disease). It wasn't until I was diagnosed with Asperger's in 2011 and read the report that I discovered that this is a common co-morbidity with ASD. Who knew?

So how does it affect me? I am slow, physically, than others. I get a stitch in my side and breathless when I either walk fast, go up a hill or run.

At school I hated PE because I'd be one of the last people to be chosen for teams; probably because I was slower. I hated the gym sessions in primary school. I couldn't do handstands because the blood would rush to my head and I'd go dizzy. In secondary school I remember when we had a sports day at a nearby stadium. Most of the school walked there but I had to get the bus with a few others in my class. We got off at the wrong stop and were late for the start.

When I was little I was told that the hole would decrease in size when I got older but over the last couple of years, I've been told that it has done the opposite and stretched. I still get breathless going too fast or up hill. Sometimes when I walk fast I can hear my heart beat louder, as it's worked hard.

So, that is my common co-morbidity with ASD. Do you have one, too? How does it affect you?

I have loosely based Book 3 of my Rainbow School series ' Susie and the Jiggling Jumper' on me. Susie has a heart condition which makes her slower than her classmates and her little sister, so she has to overcome this with her ASD.

Susie's advice with coping with the anxiety of a heart condition is: 'Don't worry about this. Do things at your own pace and don't feel pressured into doing something that you know you can't do.'

Me, Asperger's and sensory overload - noise

Today's blog is all about how noise affects me and my Asperger's. It is called Sensory Overload. I am going to give the example of last Thursday, when I had to go to bed with an overload of chatter.

Last Thursday my uncle on my mum's side came over for a couple of hours. He has a loud voice anyway, but that day he forgot his hearing aids, so it was even louder and my mum had to raise her voice so he could hear her. Even with the kitchen door closed to, I could still hear the chatter going on. Now and then I would try concentrating on things I wanted to do such as typing, or walk from room to room, or go upstairs to get away from it. But after two hours of hearing it, my head started to go fuzzy and then finally spinning round inside. I knew then that I couldn't take any more, so I did what I don't like doing; going to bed when we have a visitor. I had no choice. I went to bed and shed a few tears because it upset me, feeling anti-social to my uncle.

My mum later told me that my uncle had asked her if it was in my head. My mum replied that no, it was how my brain is and can't take a lot of noise, esp loud ones.

So, here are my tips to coping with noise overload:

1. Try to concentrate on other things such as reading or writing. Things that take your mind away from the chatter.

2. Go in the garden for some air, if it's not too cold.

3. Go upstairs for a few minutes to get a breather.

4. You could tell your relative that their voice is proving too much for you, please calm it down.

5. Shut a door to the noise, but tell people what you are doing first and why

6. If it all fails, then go up to your room and stay there.

I hope that this gives people some insight to people coping with noise and overload of it, and how others with Asperger's can cope with it.

An Aspergirl reviewing an ebook about an Asperboy

I have just read a really interesting ebook about a mother finding out her son has Asperger's Syndrome and how her and her family coped with bringing him up. The book is called 'David's Gift - Asperger's Syndrome' and is by Sally Thibault (I think that's how it's spelt). It is a memoir based on her life of finding out her son, David, has Asperger's and how her and her family coped with it as he got older. At home, at schools and colleges. Reading it, a few things struck me that were how I cope with it. Here are the things:

1. When David had to think, he went into their garden and walked round their tree. Connecting with nature. I have found this does help me when I start to get a sensory overload. The air and space frees my mind and calms me down. This piece of the book has given me the idea for an article I want to write about how nature can  help sensory issues. Still finding a magazine who might want such an article.

2. When David had a project to do that he liked, he concentrated and focussed on it with intent. I know I do that. This is one that that Aspies are good at, as I have already mentioned in blogs and videos.

3. This focus on something that you like can get good results with jobs that interest you. In the book, Sally tells us that David is now wanting a job to do with videos and computers, something he is really interested in. For me, that would me writing and marketing. Both which I know I focus on when I am doing it. I know with writing, when I start to get into the flow, I don't want to be interrupted (maybe that could be the same for all writers).

All in all, this was a really interesting book for me to read. From personal experience and my memories of my own childhood, I feel that boys with Asperger's react differently to things than girls with Asperger's do. Please correct me if I am wrong.

If you have Asperger's or a child with Asperger's, I recommend you read this book.

How to cope with IBS in the mornings

I have suffered with IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) for years, but mostly in the mornings. Over the years I have found ways to cope with it, and to make it less of a problem.  Here are my few tips.

1. If you are going out anywhere after breakfast, always put your shoes on before eating. Bending down after eating causes digestive problems.

2. Again, if going out after breakfast, sit and rest for a couple of minutes at the table after eating before you get up to go. This does help.

3. If you have time because you don't have to go out straight after eating, then sit and rest for at least 20 minutes before getting up to go out. I have found this really helps, esp before a shopping trip. I used to get up and get ready straight after breakfast, then walk round the shops. It ended up with half an hour into shopping, me telling my mum, 'I need the toilet'. I hate having to go while I am out shopping, esp a number two. This used to happen a lot to me when mum and I went food shopping during the week. Mum would carry on with the shopping. When I came out, I couldn't see her and panic (the Asperger's kicking in). Now I don't have this problem.

So, those are my tips for coping with IBS in the morning. Next will be about coping with it at other meals and during the day.

Let me know if you have any other tips about IBS and eating.

Question Time - Need ideas

I have lots of ideas for pitches of articles about living with Asperger's Syndrome, but my main ideal would be to have a column for a year or so in a magazine. I have thought of 8 ideas already on 'how to cope with AS and anxiety' but need a few more if I were to have a year to do it.   Here are the ideas I've come up with already. How to cope with AS and anxiety ...

1. At Christmas
2. If you get lost by going to a new place
3., Going to social events
4. At primary school
5. At secondary school
6. Starting work
7. With family at home
8. If you are bullied
9.  With friendship

Would be glad to have more ideas so when I come to pitch a column later on I have plenty to give and impress.

Look forward to hearing from you all. I will be putting a message about this on FB and possibly Twitter.