Autistic masking at home

 I have been recording videos about autistic masking and what it is and how we mask. If you haven't listened to them yet, please do. They are on myYouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/@julieday9517

As I am tired today, I thought I would continue with the series but with this blog. I am going to talk about autistic masking at home. Here are my thoughts.

Do I, or have I masked, at home? When I thought about this for the blog, I felt that my answer was, no, not when I was with my family indoors. When someone visited or we visited them, that was a different matter. Looking back over the years, I don't recall having to mask when I was at home with my family. If someone came to see us or stay with us, usually relatives, I think I did mask. Having to say hello, be cheerful to them. Or if we went and visited them, which I am thinking of years ago as a child when we visited an aunt and uncle on my dad's side, I definitely did mask. I remember I would play with my cousins for a while, then after enough time I would find my mum and be with her. Either sitting down in the lounge area or in the kitchen where she was helping my aunt. It was always when we went out anywhere that I masked. To the shops, to relatives, to hospitals. Any where with other people. Not when I was indoors with my own family. I feel that it was as an adult, especially after I was diagnosed with Asperger's, that the mask slipped and I would sometimes reveal my autism self. It would be when we had visitors and the noise of the chatting got too much for my brain and I sensed it becoming an overload so would go to another room to keep calm and quiet.

So, as an autistic, do you mask at home?

A whole new world - learning resilience

 Staying in hospital for a long time is a whole new world. You tend to wonder what the outside world looks like, well I did. I briefly mention in my memoir each view I got with different hospitals I stayed in last year. The recent snow in the UK (nowhere near as bad as the US) reminded me of my stay in Lewisham Hospital during the Beast from the East 2. The whole park outside was white, and the houses in the distance were too. It's why I don't like snow that much now. I got another glimpse of the outside world when I was transported from one hospital to the next. Each time I was I said to myself, 'Oh, so that's what the outside looks like.' I am not sure how I managed to cope with going from hospital to hospital last year. All I know is that I just went with it. Probably knowing that I needed to go to one for this to happen, and the next for something else to happen for me. Maybe deep down all I wanted was to get better so I could go home.

It was night time, so dark, when I finally got home end of March 2021, so I couldn't see outside properly, as I knew it. I didn't see it again until the next day, and boy was I pleased to, especially my street and my garden. The familiarity was a balm to me after all the noise and busyness of hospitals. Two weeks later, when my mum came home from hospital herself, it was to lead to another new world for me, and one that took my resilience to another level.

Coping with IBS at home and leisure

Back to my series about coping with IBS, or not. Today I am going to post about how I have coped, or not, with IBS at home and leisure time.

First, at home. I am talking about when I am at home and about to go out shopping. For quite a while, earlier this year, I would have breakfast, get ready, then go shopping with my mum to get the weekly food shopping. Mistake. As I've said in my previous post, it is a good idea to sit and rest for 20 mins or so after eating because your food won't digest properly. I know this now from experience. When I did this, and started walking round the store, half an hour in shopping I'd say to my mum that I had a stomach upset and needed to go somewhere. Feeling that I was spoiling the shopping trip, made me anxious and made my stomach feel worse. I hated this happening. Not only because it spoiled our experience shopping, but due to having Asperger's Syndrome I'd get anxious about not finding my mum when I came out. (That is another post about coping with AS). Thankfully, this hasn't happened for ages, and I intend it not to happen again. If it does, my mum and I have a strategy to meet up.

Secondly, leisure time. I am talking about when you are going out to meet friends. I often go out and meet writer friends for talks, or brunches and lunches. There was one occasion recently when the weather was v hot (in the 30s) and I was going to be meeting friends for brunch and had to sit outside. I got really anxious about this and ended up with a stomach upset from IBS. I didn't go in the end, with the excuse that sitting in the heat was bad for me and my heart (I have a hole in it, and was said that people with heart problems shouldn't stay in the heat), and wasn't well. I get nervous about going to talks in general, but try to stay calm and relaxed before hand. I think in that instance, it was a case of going into the unknown as well as going to a place I'd not been to before that set it off.

So, if you have IBS, how many times has it stopped you enjoying pleasant experiences such as shopping and meeting friends? With me, lots of times.

Question Time - Need ideas

I have lots of ideas for pitches of articles about living with Asperger's Syndrome, but my main ideal would be to have a column for a year or so in a magazine. I have thought of 8 ideas already on 'how to cope with AS and anxiety' but need a few more if I were to have a year to do it.   Here are the ideas I've come up with already. How to cope with AS and anxiety ...

1. At Christmas
2. If you get lost by going to a new place
3., Going to social events
4. At primary school
5. At secondary school
6. Starting work
7. With family at home
8. If you are bullied
9.  With friendship

Would be glad to have more ideas so when I come to pitch a column later on I have plenty to give and impress.

Look forward to hearing from you all. I will be putting a message about this on FB and possibly Twitter.