Aspies and change

One thing that people with Asperger's find hard to cope with is change. Well, I certainly went through a lot of that last year when I went into hospital. That was the first major change to my life. I think it helped me because I knew in advance (the day before) that I was going in, and I knew that I had to go as it would help me and my health. Then came more change as I went from one hospital to another to find out what was wrong with me. Again I knew it was to help find out what was wrong with me. I somehow managed to cope with all of that change until there was one change too many for me. I have described it my memoir like this

 I went from the quiet of ICU to the noise, lights and busyness of Doulton High Dependency Unit. The contrast was amazing. One thing us Aspies do find hard to cope with is change. This change was hard for me. I had coped well with going into hospital, then from one hospital to another and another, but this was something else. I think now it was that plus being in a strange environment that made me unable to sleep for three nights.

Once I got used to the routines and everything happening to me in that ward, I calmed down.

There was more change to come when I got home, and then Mum came home too. I shall tell you about that in the next post.

An Aspie in hospital - sleep

 I don't know about you, but I can never sleep properly in another bed. So being in a hospital bed was no exception. I didn't sleep too bad to start with despite the sensory challenges of noise and lights about me. I slept in normal beds with controls at the side in both Lewisham and King's which was OK. It was when I got to St Thomas's that I had problems. I was able to sleep on my side like I do here at home but when I was at St Thomas's I had a portable heart monitor wired to me which was connected to the monitors in the corridor outside. I was unlucky and got a faulty monitor. It kept on going wrong and the batteries kept running out, especially when I was in bed asleep. I was often woken up by a nurse asking me if I was OK as the monitor wasn't showing up. There was even a time when I was fast asleep and I was woken up about it. Yes, I was fine until you woke me up. Grr... There was a time that I slept so soundly that I didn't hear the blood transfusion IV machine beep to let me know it had either stopped or run out of battery. The lady next to me had to get out of bed and find a nurse to turn it off. I knew nothing about this until I woke up that morning.

Then I had my surgery, was in ICU (don't remember much about that, thank goodness), and moved to the High Dependency Unit. Oh my. The noise, the lights, the busyness, that bed. The strangeness of it all. I couldn't sleep at all the first few nights (more in my memoir to come). The bed was a special one that helped to prevent bed sores and went up and down under you. Not good when you have diarrhoea due to the antibiotics you are on. Oh, and yes the tubes all about me stopped me from lying on my side. I had to sit up, facing up to go to sleep. A position I wasn't used to. After the fourth night I started to doze off now and then and slept better. When I finally returned to the first ward I was in, I slept much better. No tubes, no monitors and quieter. I recovered more there as I was told I would do. 

But nothing is best than my own bed. Who agrees?

An Aspie at a writing retreat

This time last week I was in W Sussex at a writing retreat eating lunch, which might have been a veggie curry with rice and salad. V nice. So, how did I cope going to a retreat as an Aspie? Well, my brother and his girlfriend came with me to Waterloo as I had to pick up my ticket and didn't know where from or how. I know now it's quite easy. Then they saw me onto the train, making sure I left all right. I travelled on my own but it wasn't too bad as I read from a magazine and looked out the window most of the time. At Haslemere station I met another writer who I had hoped to travel with, but she had got on the train before me. We then were met by two other writers on the retreat and they drove us to the retreat.

There were lots of sessions scheduled for writing, so I was on my own in a room, writing. Sometimes distracted by the sights and sounds of birds around the area, esp the goldfinches. When I felt my head go light, I would get up and walk round the room, or go out to the grounds to get some air. Luckily it was lovely weather all weekend. That did the trick as it helped my head clear and I went back to write more. Break times weren't too bad as we were spread out over the floor so the noise wasn't too great. It was the meal times that were the worst for me. What do you get when you have a lot of writers in a small room? Lots of chatter and noise. I managed to cope with eating my meal and lasting half an hour afterwards. Then I would get up, saying I was going to get some quiet, and walk back to the lounge, where it was quiet until everyone finished their meal. I was tired most days as I never sleep properly elsewhere, esp with a loud dawn chorus. Lol.

Anyway, I managed to write a few chapters of Alistair's story. I think it might reach 2000 words. I wrote half a short story. Got stuck on how to continue it and what the ending is. Think I know now. And I sold 2 copies of Billy, which I took with me, just in case. Both were for autistic children,

I said I might not go again as my mum hasn't been too well and it depends on her health, but she says she'd love me to go as I enjoy it, and I want to go again. We shall see.

So, if you do go on a retreat, and have Asperger's like me, or even an issue with noise, then that is what you can do. Walk about a bit, and get some air if you can. It helped that the house we stayed in is in the middle of trees and bushes so is tranquil. The perfect place to write and get some peace.

ASD and why children can have meltdowns

If you see another child in your class or playground crying, shouting, screaming or maybe on the ground, then they could be having a meltdown. This is not a tantrum, to get attention. This is usually because something has either upset them or have had a sensory overload. It could be because they have been bullied by another child. Or it could be because there is too much noise, too many people around them, too many smells, or in all too much stimulation around them for them to cope with.

If the child is being picked on, then please tell the teacher. Bullying in any way is not OK and should be dealt with.

So, what to do if you do see a child like this? Here are my ideas:

1. Tell a teacher or assistant you can see in the playground

2. Give the child space

3. Don't ask the child if they are OK.

4. Try to get other children not to interfere and tease

5. Does the child like something such as a toy? If so, maybe you can suggest to the teacher they take it to the child.

Please note that I am not an expert and don't have a degree. I am just going by experience and what I have read by experts.

Me, Asperger's and noisy games

Adults and children with Asperger's Syndrome often have challenges with senses, especially noise. When I was little there were a few games that I hated because they made loud and sudden noises.

I hated jack-in-the-box. Even though I knew the jack would pop out after winding it up, the suddenness of it and the noise it always made, caused me to jump. I would refuse to wind it up.

There are three other games that come to mind.

Operation: The buzz when you touch the side of the holes always made me jump. Knowing it would go would make me nervous, so I'd end up making it buzz.

Buckaroo: This made a loud noise when you put too many items on the donkey and it bucked up, making a noise.

Ker Plunk: It was the noise of all the marbles falling down if you took out the wrong stick. The idea of the games is to put in all the sticks in the holes, then pour in the marbles. You would have to take a stick out at a time, careful not to cause a marble to fall down the gaps. That makes the noise.

So, are there any games that you don't like or don't like playing because of the noise? Let me know.

My top tip for children is: if there is a game you don't want to play because it affects your senses, then tell your family. Don't be afraid to let them know.

Me, Asperger's and sensory overload - noise

Today's blog is all about how noise affects me and my Asperger's. It is called Sensory Overload. I am going to give the example of last Thursday, when I had to go to bed with an overload of chatter.

Last Thursday my uncle on my mum's side came over for a couple of hours. He has a loud voice anyway, but that day he forgot his hearing aids, so it was even louder and my mum had to raise her voice so he could hear her. Even with the kitchen door closed to, I could still hear the chatter going on. Now and then I would try concentrating on things I wanted to do such as typing, or walk from room to room, or go upstairs to get away from it. But after two hours of hearing it, my head started to go fuzzy and then finally spinning round inside. I knew then that I couldn't take any more, so I did what I don't like doing; going to bed when we have a visitor. I had no choice. I went to bed and shed a few tears because it upset me, feeling anti-social to my uncle.

My mum later told me that my uncle had asked her if it was in my head. My mum replied that no, it was how my brain is and can't take a lot of noise, esp loud ones.

So, here are my tips to coping with noise overload:

1. Try to concentrate on other things such as reading or writing. Things that take your mind away from the chatter.

2. Go in the garden for some air, if it's not too cold.

3. Go upstairs for a few minutes to get a breather.

4. You could tell your relative that their voice is proving too much for you, please calm it down.

5. Shut a door to the noise, but tell people what you are doing first and why

6. If it all fails, then go up to your room and stay there.

I hope that this gives people some insight to people coping with noise and overload of it, and how others with Asperger's can cope with it.

Why libraries are good places for Aspies

As an Aspie who visits their local community library often, I have found it is a good place to go for my sensory challenges. You have to plan what day you go though, or you might find you go there on a day where there is lots happening, so more noise. Like I did last Saturday for my book launch; there were 2 other events happening the same day, so there was more noise than normal. I usually my client on a Monday, and it is quieter then. People come and go and use computers, but it is quieter so I can hear what my client is telling me.

I also think the bigger library the less noise you will get. There will be more space to move around, so other people won't disturb you with noise. The lights aren't too bad either.

So, libraries are good places for Aspies to go, esp if you are a writer like me, and want to meet up with others to talk.

Me, Asperger's and noise

One of the things that does affect me and my Asperger's is noise. Though, what noise it is has changed since I was a child and how it has changed.

When I was a child I hated going through the local subway under the train station. I think I feared the trains would fall down on me. I would stand one end, wait for a train to go over, then dash to the other end. I had to get used to it as it was the main way to get to the station if I had to go to hospital, and later to work. I did get used to it.

Another thing I hated when I was a child, and still do, is a balloon bursting. The bang makes me jump, so if you have a balloon and are with me, please don't burst that balloon. I won't like it, and I won't like you.

It seemed to be sudden noises I didn't like when I was a child, but now as an adult with Asperger's, noise comes to me as a sensory overload. I can't take too much loud noise in a small space eg loud voices in a small room. It makes my head go fuzzy, I can't take any more, and have to go into a quiet room, usually my bedroom upstairs. I think this must have been why when I went to a writers' party, after a while I would go to sit down away from the rest of the authors chatting. If I can get away from the noise, either to another area, another room or outside, then I will. It helps my head to calm down, and therefore, me to calm down, too, because I get upset if I have to leave a room when there are other people there.

So, that is how noise has affected me in the past, and affects me now. If you have Asperger's, how does noise affect you? The same? Let me know.

An Aspergirl and Sensitivities

As someone with Asperger's Syndrome, I am sensitive to a lot of things, the main ones being noise and messiness on people. By that, I mean if someone is eating and leaves food round their mouth. This makes me feel ill.

Noise - When I was a child, I hated the noise of trains going over the subway. I always either used to wait until they went past or run through the subway to the other side. Now, I don't mind as I have had to get used to it over the years when I went to work and had to get trains. I still don't like the noise of balloons popping, and someone scratching the surface of a table or board. That squeakiness puts my teeth on edge.

Also, I have become very sensitive to people talking loudly in a small room. This is sensory overload for me, and I have to either go into another quiet room or upstairs or in the garden.

Food - I think this sensitivity comes from years ago when I was at primary school. I knew a girl who was bullied by others and one day she was so sad that when she ate her dinner, her hair hung in her food and the food stayed there. This really made me feel ill. I still can't abide people leaving food on them, esp their mouths.

One other thing I am sensitive to, is when someone I know cries, I cry too. Most of the time I can't sense other people's true emotions having Asperger's, but when someone cries you can certainly and I find this upsetting and get tearful too.

So, what are you sensitive about? Let me know, and if it has anything to do with having AS.