The missing bits from the memoir - The 'Be Still' rule

There are a few things I know that I didn't put in my memoir, especially about when I was recovering at home. One of these was the difficulty I had doing every day things such as combing my hair as I wasn't allowed to lift my right hand above my head for six weeks. Why was this? Well, I had a pacemaker and its leads fitted, and to let them settle in properly you can't move about too much otherwise they wouldn't work too good. So when I came home in 2021 for six weeks I couldn't comb my hair properly, I couldn't wash it (it hadn't been washed for weeks anyway because of being in hospital), I couldn't moisturise my neck properly, I couldn't move the wheelie bins out by myself as I wasn't allowed to move/lift heavy things. Oh, and it was difficult to put on clothes over my head such as nighties or T-shirts. One of the carers I had did show me how to do it.

So why am I mentioning it now? Well, very soon, probably October, I am going to have to go into hospital again to have a pacemaker lead replaced as it is making extra noise. They want it changed before it causes any problems with me. I am going to have to follow the 'be still' rules for four weeks this time. I shall have to practise putting on clothes over my head like the carer taught me. And practise combing my hair with my left hand.

As I told the consultant, if I have to have it done, I will have it done. I am not looking forward to it as this time I have to go under general anaesthetic. Last time I had it done under local anaesthetic.

Meantime, I am making the most of my time at home in my own comforts, and getting on with my writing. I have plans to create more books and journals to go with my memoir (you can buy it from my website or from The Book Dragon website here www.the-book-dragon.com). I want to turn my memoir and its journals into a brand about resilience and make a business out of it alongside my children's books. I plan to take blank journals in to hospital with me this time so I can write in them when I feel like it, and get an idea of what I can put in the guides I want to write with the gratitude journals I have in mind.

Resilience and Me

 I have started blogging about being resilient, which I feel has come out in my memoir 'Endocarditis – My Journey' (available as an ebook from all good eretailers and paperback from Amazon or my website). Much of what has made me resilient is documented in there but there are other factors which aren't, namely what happened to me last year. Here are the main things I believe have made me more resilient in life over the last few years.

2020 – The year I had endocarditis and didn't know it. I just knew something was wrong with me.

2021 – My mum was ill herself, then I had to go into hospital to be treated, followed by surgery and recovery. Following my discharge and start of recovery at home, Mum came out of hospital herself and it became clear that she was changed. She had become bed bound and developed dementia. Although she had carers to help her, I became her main carer. This along with recovering mentally and physically from what I had been through, attending hospital appointments, and learning to cope with a loved one with dementia, was tough. With my Asperger's I did find it hard to deal with the carers at times.

2022 – Mum's dementia had got bad with her being nasty to me at times. Mum had an unusual stroke and went into hospital for three weeks. When she came out she had changed again to a more subdued person. So sad. Five weeks after she had come home, she caught sepsis and went back to hospital. The treatment for that cured her but caused another medical problem. The ongoing treatment and monitoring proved too much for her already frail body and she sadly passed away in August 2022. I had to cope with dealing with arranging the funeral and all the other things that go with a death in the family (but thankfully I had support from my brother and my best friend). I am now living on my own. Christmas was hard as it was the first one without her.

2023 – A new year, a different life being on my own. I plan to blog and talk about resilience in a medical capacity from this year on, based on my memoir and what happened to me.