I thought I had been going well with coming downstairs here at home, but a couple of weeks ago I had another panic attack upstairs. I froze at the top of the stairs and it took me three goes to get down. I think it might have been something to do with the fact at the time we had our gardener here and my mum was preoccupied, so I had to cope with it on my own. It feels that my brain doesn't like doing too much on its own these days.
It certainly doesn't like me walking outside on my own, not even for a few steps. When I went shopping the other day with my mum, she gave me something to put into a bin by the bus stop we were at. I tried but froze. It felt that it didn't like the openness of the space and didn't want to fall.
I originally thought the anxiety and panic attacks I had last year were to do with blood pressure tablets I had been taking, but now I have had another one and am on a different tablet which is working, I am more inclined to think that it was the start of the perimenopause for me. Grrr...
It has got me thinking about this horrible anxiety lark I am having with the perimenopause. It seems that it has heightened the anxiety I have for stairs and heights, and for going out on my own. It certainly doesn't like open spaces outside these days.
We shall see how I go.
