Thursday 29 September (two days ago) was World Heart Awareness Day, it also happened to be my mum's funeral. My heart was aching with grief then and still is.
Although a lot of bad stuff happened to me as I have put in my memoir 'Endocarditis - My Journey' there is one good thing that came from it. Here is what I wrote near the end of the book.
On the good side is that when I had the surgery, I also had my VSD closed, and having that done and/or what I had been through on my own made me able to go to all these hospital appointments on my own, something I had never done before. I feel that it is probably more to do with having the VSD closed that's made me like I am now. I was quiet and not so confident before the surgery, but after it I was able to speak out more, and go to these appointments by myself.
I still believe that this is true. I recall when I was in hospital, maybe because I was feeling very weak still, that I didn't want to walk too far in case I got lost. When I get lost, I get flustered and can have a meltdown. Since I came home last year I have been to many hospital appointments; at Lewisham Hospital, Guy's, and St Thomas's Hospitals. All to different departments and different buildings and zones. Before I had the surgery, I feel there would have been no way that I would have coped doing that on my own. It is a case of having to now, being on my own.
Onwards and upwards I say.
If you would like to read a 'very honest and inspiring' book then my memoir is available here https://www.amazon.co.uk/Endocarditis-My-Journey-Julie-Day-ebook/dp/B0B8VT2X1H
