My Autism Journey. It is a spectrum.

 Welcome to my new newsletter all about autism and what I have learnt during my journey since I was diagnosed in 2011.

One thing that I have learnt recently, and I know it has often been said by others, is that all autistics are different from one another. That is so true. Over the last month I have had the opportunity to work with two different groups of autistic children. One at a school and one at a library from a school. Both of these groups have been different from one another. Not just in their age but their abilities. The classes at the school were aged from 7-9 years-old and the group at the library were in their teens but had a lower learning age. Seeing these children made me realise that, yes, we are all different and it is a spectrum. Here are the differences I have seen. Not just with me at that age but between the groups.

When I was 7-9 year old at primary school I was really shy and quiet. I wouldn't talk to others. I found it hard to make friends. At the school I visited as an author, in the class I was in there was one little girl who was friends with another girl. She helped the girl put her hair up in a bun to appear like her book character she was dressed as. This was World Book Day. One girl from another class who had joined in actually read out her story she had written to me and told me what she likes writing about. At that age I wouldn't have done that. I was too shy to do that. I would ask my teacher to read it for me. I think there were these differences for two reasons. The class size was only of eight children whereas when I was at school, a mainstream one, it was about double that. Also this was a special needs school so the children were supported for their needs.

Then there was the other group of older children. They were also from a special needs school but their learning ability was lower than their ages. They were a group of six children with a teacher of their own. They could read and write but not like any other teen could. They were friendly towards me. Again as they were a smaller class and had the support they each needed, they were less shy than I was at that age. One boy asked me a question, another shook my hand and spoke to me. Even at that age I was too shy to speak to other people I didn't know.

I enjoyed working with both groups, and look forward to seeing the second class again for their next workshop which is booked for end of this month.

Then there is a non-verbal autistic eleven year old called Josh Harris. He is the son of Dan Harris, the founder of the charity Neurodiversity in Business. Although Josh doesn't speak he can communicate via his AAC talker device, gestures and his cooking skills. Josh can make cakes, bake pies and breakfasts for his dad. At that age I couldn't make cakes or pies. The only thing I recall making by that age was peppermint cream sweets which I did at primary school.

As I have said, it is certainly a spectrum. One autistic child can do one thing, another can't, and yet another child might be able to do both.

The differences between a tantrum and a meltdown

 

I was going to do another short video about meltdowns, but as I now have a cold I am writing this instead. I might do the video next week. Following my last video about what are meltdowns, I thought I'd give a quick idea what I think the two differences are between meltdowns and tantrums. To listen to what I had to say, catch my video here. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mJ4-EvwY09M&t=3s

1. When a child has a tantrum it is often attention seeking. So they might look up during the tantrum to see if someone has seen them. When a child/adult has a meltdown we are focussed on our own feelings. We might know what we are doing but we don't intend to seek attention.

2. When a child has a tantrum they can often shout out eg I hate you. When a child has a meltdown, they are focussed on their own emotions and not shouting out.

I know when I have had meltdowns, I cry and hate being the cause of attention. I try to calm myself down so no one can see how distressed I am.

I hope that makes sense.

Let me know what you think.

How to grow a brand

While I am waiting for my designer to do the cover and interior for my latest children's autism book, I have been busy growing my autism brand in other ways. I have made a video what I am doing but here is what I am doing and have done so far.

I have had articles published in autism magazines. They are Exceptional Needs Today and Uncovered. I will be having another out in SEN magazine next month. You can read my article in Exceptional Needs Today here

https://drive.google.com/file/d/19k9V3sul-KcgHHGXrMMmtKIt60i4agyK/view

I have done more videos about autism for my YouTube channel. I have decided to be an exhibitor at a neurodiversity conference in April and will be selling my books there (I hope). I am going to be super busy in March and April because I have been booked to do talks and workshops to SEN groups at a SEN school and libraries. I have also become part of an adult autistic focus group. For the first time I have something booked each week during March and April, and I'm nervous and excited. This is all new for me. Part of my autism brand.

If I get time I will post about my next book, which I plan to publish in March. So until the next letter, check out the article above to learn about me and my Asperger's, and let me know what you think.

Happy reading.

 

This will be my second and last Christmas Fair this year. Do come along if you are near the Sydenham area on Saturday. Thankfully, there will be no more storms outside as it is forecast to be cold and dry. There will be handmade jewellery, handmade cards, as well as my books. If you buy one of my books you will get a free magnet. Each child who visits Santa will receive a gift. 

Come and say hello to us all.

Hope to see you there.

 

If you are in the Sydenham SE26 London area on 7 December, please come along and say hello. I will be there with all my books which will be selling at my in-person discount. I know there will also be different crafts such as home-made jewellery and diamond art pictures, home-made greeting cards, other author books and paintings. Last year there was even a singing choir but don't know if they are appearing this year. Who knows.

Hope to see you there. 

(Will you be there Councillor Best?)

Five tips to help an autistic child cope with masking after school

 If you have an autistic child who's been to school, here are a few tips to help them when they are home.

1. Have an area or room where your child can unwind and relax without any disturbances.

2. If your autistic child looks tired or stressed (can be both after having masked), let them relax in their own room.

3. If they want to stim or have fun with their special interests, let them.

4. When they are relaxed, then ask them if they have homework and when it has to be done by. Plan when they can do this.

5. Have a planner to hand to book these slots.

Here is a book that you can read all about autistic masking.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Helping-Identify-Understand-Autism-Masking/dp/B0858WJW2M/ref=sr_1_11?tag=juliedayautho-21

I hope you have found this helpful.

Autistic masking at home

 I have been recording videos about autistic masking and what it is and how we mask. If you haven't listened to them yet, please do. They are on myYouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/@julieday9517

As I am tired today, I thought I would continue with the series but with this blog. I am going to talk about autistic masking at home. Here are my thoughts.

Do I, or have I masked, at home? When I thought about this for the blog, I felt that my answer was, no, not when I was with my family indoors. When someone visited or we visited them, that was a different matter. Looking back over the years, I don't recall having to mask when I was at home with my family. If someone came to see us or stay with us, usually relatives, I think I did mask. Having to say hello, be cheerful to them. Or if we went and visited them, which I am thinking of years ago as a child when we visited an aunt and uncle on my dad's side, I definitely did mask. I remember I would play with my cousins for a while, then after enough time I would find my mum and be with her. Either sitting down in the lounge area or in the kitchen where she was helping my aunt. It was always when we went out anywhere that I masked. To the shops, to relatives, to hospitals. Any where with other people. Not when I was indoors with my own family. I feel that it was as an adult, especially after I was diagnosed with Asperger's, that the mask slipped and I would sometimes reveal my autism self. It would be when we had visitors and the noise of the chatting got too much for my brain and I sensed it becoming an overload so would go to another room to keep calm and quiet.

So, as an autistic, do you mask at home?