My Autism Journey. It is a spectrum.

 Welcome to my new newsletter all about autism and what I have learnt during my journey since I was diagnosed in 2011.

One thing that I have learnt recently, and I know it has often been said by others, is that all autistics are different from one another. That is so true. Over the last month I have had the opportunity to work with two different groups of autistic children. One at a school and one at a library from a school. Both of these groups have been different from one another. Not just in their age but their abilities. The classes at the school were aged from 7-9 years-old and the group at the library were in their teens but had a lower learning age. Seeing these children made me realise that, yes, we are all different and it is a spectrum. Here are the differences I have seen. Not just with me at that age but between the groups.

When I was 7-9 year old at primary school I was really shy and quiet. I wouldn't talk to others. I found it hard to make friends. At the school I visited as an author, in the class I was in there was one little girl who was friends with another girl. She helped the girl put her hair up in a bun to appear like her book character she was dressed as. This was World Book Day. One girl from another class who had joined in actually read out her story she had written to me and told me what she likes writing about. At that age I wouldn't have done that. I was too shy to do that. I would ask my teacher to read it for me. I think there were these differences for two reasons. The class size was only of eight children whereas when I was at school, a mainstream one, it was about double that. Also this was a special needs school so the children were supported for their needs.

Then there was the other group of older children. They were also from a special needs school but their learning ability was lower than their ages. They were a group of six children with a teacher of their own. They could read and write but not like any other teen could. They were friendly towards me. Again as they were a smaller class and had the support they each needed, they were less shy than I was at that age. One boy asked me a question, another shook my hand and spoke to me. Even at that age I was too shy to speak to other people I didn't know.

I enjoyed working with both groups, and look forward to seeing the second class again for their next workshop which is booked for end of this month.

Then there is a non-verbal autistic eleven year old called Josh Harris. He is the son of Dan Harris, the founder of the charity Neurodiversity in Business. Although Josh doesn't speak he can communicate via his AAC talker device, gestures and his cooking skills. Josh can make cakes, bake pies and breakfasts for his dad. At that age I couldn't make cakes or pies. The only thing I recall making by that age was peppermint cream sweets which I did at primary school.

As I have said, it is certainly a spectrum. One autistic child can do one thing, another can't, and yet another child might be able to do both.

Why children can be alone in the playground

One of the questions I was asked to answer here was - why would children behave certain ways. So, I thought I'd post about why children would be seen to be alone in the playground, something I certainly have experience with as a child with Asperger's. So, here I am going to explain why I think it is from what I have read.

Why do some children be alone and not join in with others? This was me when I was at school - both at primary and secondary. I never really understood why until recently when I read about Asperger's and autism. The reason is 'social interaction impairment' and 'social imagination impairment'. This means that a child on the autism spectrum (and adult too) is confused about what to do and say to make friends. When do they speak? What do they say to make someone like them and get them to join in? How do they join in with games?

With me, I either was alone, tagged along with others and did what I was told to do, or played with the younger children at primary school. At secondary school I was just alone, or tagged along with other alone children.

So what do you do when you see a lone child? I am not an expert and don't have a degree about this, I am just saying from reading and experience.

1. Either you can approach the child, from the front and never from behind, and ask them if they want to play.
2. Explain the game to them
3. Or if you aren't sure, then leave them alone.
4. You could watch them to see what they like doing, then one day, talk to them about it.

So, they are my thoughts on this subject.

Me and Asperger's - Tone of voice

One of the challenges that people with Asperger's have is social communication, and that can mean their voice can sound rude or abrupt without intention. This happened to me last week at the local newsagent when I got the paper. I went in there, picked up the paper and went to pay for it behind another woman. I saw another older woman there who was choosing crisps. I also saw food on the counter which I thought belonged to the other woman in front of me. The older woman went to move in front of me and I said to her, I'm in the queue. I have just the paper and the exact money. The other woman turned round and accused me of being rude. She paid for her goods and left. I tried to explain by saying I have Asperger's but it was too late. The other woman let me pay for the paper. I apologised to her and she said I didn't need to. I left and went home. It upset me so much that it went round and round my head to the point I was in tears. When my mum came home, I asked her what she would have done, but she realised about the food on the counter and said that people do that there, buy some things, go and find more then pay later. Later on she said that if she had been with me she would have said a few choice words to that woman. Wanting to get it off my chest, I also mentioned it to a Facebook group of women with Asperger's to see what their reactions were. They all agreed that the first woman was rude not me. One comment I got, from the founder of the group, was that at times like that, she felt she needed to wear a T-shirt that said, 'I have Asperger's what is your reason for poor social skills.'. LOL. This gave me an idea. This all gave me peace of mind about the situation. It still upsets me to think about it, but I have decided a couple of things:

1. Not to try to get in that situation again.
2. Made me determined to raise awareness of Asperger's even more, esp about me.
3. I might buy a card that tells others that I am on the autism spectrum and what it means.

So I will be blogging more about Asperger's, writing more about it inc in short stories, and mention it a lot at my new book's launch in a few week's time along with hand-made cards and leaflets about ASD, and I will be posting on FB and Twitter about it too, sharing posts. I also am thinking of other merchandise to sell to raise awareness.